I am reviewing some “literature” on the Master Cleanse and was given these words of warning:
Tips To Help You Finish The Master Cleanser Diet
1) "First you need to whip yourself into a white hot frenzy"
2) "[Don't] roll out of bed in the morning and decide that this would be a good day to start a 10 day detox. This is a recipe for failure."
3) "Get yourself a brand new notebook, and write down all the benefits you will receive by going on this diet. Do Not Censor Yourself."
4) "If you're into that stuff, you can watch slasher films or professional wresting if that's what it takes to keep your mind off food."
5) "Rid your house of all potential traps: you might think you have the will power to not eat that package of thin mint cookies now, but 7 days into the diet I guarantee them cookies will be calling out to you in your sleep, and having to look at them every time you go into the kitchen will be maddening."
Luckily for me, I:
1) got a fucking court summons on Saturday for mounting my bike on the sidewalk in front of my house
2) roll out of bed EVERY day thinking I could start a 10 day cleanse (or a 10 day binge, for that matter)
3) was given a curious but nifty Anna Sui notepad on Sunday from someone's left over Fashion Week swag
4) got a new Dario Argento film in the mail to watch from Netflix
5) haven't gone grocery shopping in a few weeks
So I'm ready, right?
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