So Doorknobs just walked over to me and handed me a note that he has been holding onto, which I received four years ago in April 2004 from some female friends who thought it would be fun to bust my balls on a night we were having a party at the house, by planting thongs (yes, thongs) and raunchy love letters throughout my apartment. It would have been a funny prank at the time too, were I not a) a little too serious & sensitive for my own good, b) a little too absentminded for my own good, and c) had my estranged, hot-and-bothered (angry, not horny) ex-girlfriend not just shown up at the apartment a few minutes before one of the thongs was pulled from between the couch cushions and announced to the party. Oh yeah, and I was a little too inebriated for my own good. So yeah. That was a good time.
Anyway, here's the "letter" in all it's glory. I'm glad it's legible cause i'd rather not have to retype it and then start showing up in a Google search when someone enters the words "Jeffrey Beaumont" "wet" and "horny". Oh. Oops.
Believe it or not, those stains are from Doorknobs tossing the note onto a plate of bacon today. Not anything else.
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